Talked about deconstructing on my Nov 9th podcast. So if you haven’t listened to that episode, I’d encourage you to do that. I start that episode by giving a brief definition of post modernism and how it relates to the current trend of deconstruction. In that episode, I talk specifically about the deconstruction of gender. But I mention a few other things our society is deconstructing and one of those things is religion.
And I had this new wave of thought the other day. I have been preparing for a conversation with a friend about the enneagram. Which had my brain thinking about New Age spiritual practices. It became to clear to me that not only is "deconstructing" an exercise is post-modern ideology, it's also a New Age spiritual practice. Post Modernism and New Ageism hold hands and have a symbiotic relationship. They feed into each other. This was a new connection for me. Maybe other people have already made that connection. Asking which one comes first, the Post Modernism or the New Ageism, I don't know, it's chicken or the egg. But start with one and you'll end up believing and honoring the other.
If post-modernism is our intellect, then New Ageism is our religion. Post Modernism tells you that there is no truth, everything is a manufactured societal construct (religion, gender, etc). New Ageism swoops in to assure you, the only truth you need is inside of you, you just need to tap into your higher self.
Does this make sense? Post Modernism gives you the intellectual framework to tear society as we know it down and New Ageism gives you the spiritual framework to build up a world based on yourself, with you at the center. If you start down the path of New Age self-discovery, you'll want to tear down society because it will try and limit your idea of self. And if you start down the path of wanting to tear down society, you'll have a need replace it with yourself. Either way, you end up at the same place...focused on yourself and your happiness.
Deconstructing your religion is trendy. Honestly. It’s trendy narcissism if you ask me, which all deconstruction is since you tear down all societal constructs and replace them with self constructs.
Ok, I’m 41. And if you would have asked me even just 2 years ago which age group was “deconstructing” their religion I would have said Gen Z. BUT I have realized in the last couple of years, this is actually a big trend among millennials, even elder millennials like myself. It’s not Gen Z deconstructing, it’s Gen Z’s mom.
It’s this middle aged woman who has had some sort of grand ephinany about her religion or more accurately, her Christianity.
And this ephinany usually comes as a result of some sort of Church hurt or Church trauma. Whew, that’s another trend…church hurt. And a rabbit hole for another day…
And I’m not talking about those who have left abusive church situations and had to reframe or relearn the Bible teaching they thought they knew. Because that does exist. And I know some of those people. But they didn’t leave or blame Christianity. They appropriately left and blamed poor leadership and unsound teaching. Whereas many of these deconstructionists just seem intent on obliterating Christianity until there’s nothing left but…themselves. The “hurt” by the church isn’t severe or abusive, rather it’s a general lack of discontentment or unhappiness.
Or maybe they’ve decided times have changed, so their understanding of the Bible should change too. That’s one I see a lot. Where people change their theology based on current politics or cultural trends. The Bible didn’t change. Society changes. But it’s the Bible that’s suddenly offensive. And if the church sticks to the Biblical definition of things like marriage or gender, the church is now inflicting trauma. Therefore the church must be deconstructed. Religion must be to blame for the hurt, for their disappointment, for their unhappiness. Not sin. Or sinful people. The church. All of it.
And it’s interesting because they actually become evangelists for deconstructing. They become missionaries for their cause. Because they literally go out into the world and try to save people from religion.
If you listen to the podcast and follow me on social media, I’ve given a couple of examples of this type of person. One, was the woman from my abortion podcast who attacked my tiktok videos. She has a large tiktok following herself and a huge part of her platform is her personal deconstruction journey and now attempting to save others from Christianity. AND she makes a determined effort to find and stitch Christian content - specifically to point out where she feels like a Christian isn’t being very Christian. And she has surrounded herself with like minded women, who have also deconstructed. The comment sections on her videos are full of women tearing down Christian women, calling them names, bullying them. It's a whole world, that I never knew existed and feels like an 8th grade girls locker room. Gossipy, overly emotional, and cliquish.
The second example was from my instagram comments. This person was arguing with another person on one of my videos. And I want to focus on the last part of one particular comment.
In summary it says…“I checked all the Christian boxes…and you know what, it didn’t make happy and even though I’m not a Christian anymore, I’m here to tell you, you’re doing Christianity wrong.”
Isn’t this a self-refuting argument? Someone sitting here saying - here’s how I did Christianity and I was miserable and quit. I see that you aren’t doing Christianity like I did, so you're doing it wrong, otherwise you’d be miserable and quitting too.
Why would I listen to these people when it comes to being a Christian?
I’m not providing these examples to call out these women specifically. They are simply a more vocal representatives of a larger trend of deconstruction among middle age women that I have noticed. And I want to talk about not only, how we got here with this trend, but also what the Bible says about it.
There are a few similarities I have observed in deconstructionists overall.
Because they are a former Christian, they know how to do Christianity better than you.
Listen. Christianity isn’t a career choice. You can show me your Christian resume all day long, full of great things, but if at the end of the day, you didn't finish the race...your activity, means very little. It was just meaningless busy work - according to YOU actually. The work doesn't matter if at the end you scrapped it all and are now saying it was done under false pretenses. You’re literally admitting did those works, not out of love but out of obligation.
If you quit Christianity - and not just quit, but systemicaly tear it down - because you got hurt or your politics started to matter more to you. You’re not an expert, you’re a quitter. Now that might sound harsh. And I’m going elaborate more on this in a minute. But if you hate Christians and hate Christianity. I’m not inclined to listen to your feedback on how to be a good one. Because being a good Christian in your mind - means abandoning it altogether. Just like you did.
You might be knowledgeable on Christianity, but that doesn’t mean you ARE or ever were a Christian. And you know what, I’d argue that if you are able to tell yourself, that you “deconstructed your Christianity,”, then you actually aren’t that knowledgeable about it either.
They had a work and feeling based religion verses a faith based, transformational relationship.
Every deconstructionist I've encountered is quick to flash you their resume of works they did while a Christian. As they feel that is proof that they were one. “Look at all these great things I did while I Christian, look at what I did for GOD. But the list of what He did for me was short. I still wasn’t happy. Or something bad still happened to me. Or still struggled with my same old urges and desires. So see, being a Christian wasn’t worth it after all. I did all of this work and didn't like the payout from God. So I quit." What is SOO interesting though…is that after all of that deconstructing, they STILL want you to KNOW the works they did. It's so prideful. AND they’re still judging YOU for what they perceive as a lack of works. Again, Christianity isn’t a career choice…you don’t put works in and get paid out in blessings and happiness. If that's what you thought Christianity was, you were focused on a transactional relationship, not a transformational one. When we get to the pearly gates, God will not be asking for your resume of good works. He will be asking, do you know my Son Jesus?
Happiness is the measure of their Christianity and when happiness is lacking or not measuring up, well then, Christianity must be at fault.
It’s never sin that's at fault and it's certainly never their personal sin at fault. Pursuing happiness is not the same as pursuing God. The opposite actually. You know what? You’re right. You might actually feel happier not being a Christ follower. At least sometimes. Why? Because it probably feels easier. You get to make the rules now. Not God. YOU. You’re in charge. And when YOU get to be the rule maker, YOU get to be the boss, you have now entered Post-Modernism and / or New Ageism. I have said this many times before…there are many, many instances in our current culture where it would feel easier…and you know what, maybe, maybe it would even feel more loving to just not be a Christian. Because dying to ourself, to our flesh is really hard. And it has to happen every single day, with every single choice. And we aren't able to do that with a transactional relationship with God. We are only able to do with a transformational relationship with God. One where we say - NOT MY WILL, BUT YOURS.
So the real question here that I've been circling around mentally for a few weeks is this - Is it possible for a true Christian to deconstruct their faith, Biblically? Because we have to go back to the Bible when we're talking about Christianity.
And honestly, the only conclusion I can come to is this...
THERES NO SUCH THING A CHRISTIAN WHO HAS DECONSTRUCTED THEIR RELIGION.
You are either... 1) never redeemed or sealed by the Holy Spirit to begin with or 2) having a prodigal moment and will return and repent.
Let’s look at the first one…was never a Christian to begin with…because I feel that is largely the deconstructionist.
If you believe you are powerful enough to pluck yourself from the hand of God, then you are saying you believe you are more powerful than God. And that your works are more powerful and important than the work of Christ on the cross.
The Bible addresses the idea of deconstruction in an extremely direct manner in 2 Peter 2:20-22:
If indeed they have escaped the corruption of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, only to be entangled and overcome by it again, their final condition is worse than it was at first. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness than to have known it and then to turn away from the holy commandment passed on to them. Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud.”
Proverbs 26:11: As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.
This is pretty harsh language. It's not mine. It's Gods. You can tell me all day long about much "happier" you are away from Christianity...but you've simply turned back to vomit and mud. Biblically and spiritually speaking.
Are you familiar with the phrase "lipstick on a pig?" The deconstructed Christian is simply a lipstick on a pig. But when the lipstick wore off, they realized they’d be happier back in their mud pit.
And you can be super offended if you want. But the metaphor isn't calling someone fat or an actual pig. It’s calling someone a fake. And some of you are probably at this point like - this is NOT LOVING Jennifer! But guess what, deconstruction and hell isn't loving either. Look at the scripture above…their FINAL condition, FINAL, no more chances, is worse than before.
And you might be thinking - no one is going to go back to something that is worse than before. Think about Moses leading the Israelites out of bondage…they were literally begging to go back. I’m reading about this right now, in my Bible in a year plan. And as an outsider, it can get super annoying to listen to the Israelites complain. Like, guys, you were just freed from slavery. Can’t you be a little grateful and happy? But almost immediately, they start complaining, they build false Gods. It’s too hard. It’s too hard to be free. They don’t feel happy. Thanks God for saving us, but we’d rather go back to slavery. But you know what, He doesn’t let them. Because they couldn’t see the big picture. It’s a rough road, but they had to learn how to be a free people. And I don’t think we’re that much different nowadays. We’re comfortable in slavery to our sin and being free can feel too hard. It’s easy to think, oh man, if God would just answer this one prayer of mine, I’d be so happy, I’d be faithful to Him forever. But would you? The Israelites complained when they were enslaved, they complained when they were free…
Have you ever heard the phrase, choose your hard? For example, people will say, divorce is hard. And so is staying married. Choose your hard. Or exercising is hard, but so is being unhealthy. Choose your hard. Being in sin is hard. Being a Christian is hard. Choose your hard. Both options in all of those examples, will have hardships. But also in each case there is an option that leads to great reward. Choose your hard.
And just like the Israelites were not allowed to “unsave” themselves from God’s promises and reconciliation, we also cannot “unsave” ourselves once we’ve been sealed.
Hebrews 6:4-6 goes on to further illustrate the absurdity that a Christian can "unsave" themselves.
It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age— and then have fallen away—to be restored to repentance, because they themselves are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting Him to open shame.
Now, the Bible does talk about people "falling away" so what does that mean if it doesn't mean true Christ followers rejecting their salvation? It means, a falling away of those who identify as Christian in word, but not in faith. Sometimes, as in the parable of the wheat that Jesus gave in Matthew 13:36-43, it's hard to tell the wheat from the weeds. Not just in Church, but in the world as well. Without a great falling away, we will not know. When someone identifies as having deconstructed their Christian faith, they are simply identifying themself as a weed vs. a wheat.
A big problem in our culture is "self identity." This has been caused by both Post Modernism and New Ageism.
Consider the quote "I think, therefore I am." What is the meaning of this quote? It actually meant because I have the ability to think, I know I exist and am alive. But in our current culture we take to mean - whatever I think about myself, it must be true. WHICH is a New Age idea and leads to things like manifestation, law of attraction, etc.
But this is also a Post Modern idea, that nothing else is true or real, other than, what you believe about yourself. This is what is also driving our current identity crisis and the theory of intersectionality. The more labels I have, the more self identities I have, the higher I am on the oppression scale and the more value I have in our society. Isn't interesting that we tear down current social constructs, only to replace them with new social constructs, based on self identification. When you have disabled belief in societal constructs and replaced them with self constructs, self identity reigns supreme.
You will see that at work all across various parts of our culture, from Christianity to sexuality and gender. But self identification is ultimately worthless. Why? Because it's as fleeting as your feelings.
You can project, profess, and proclaim an identity all you want, but it does NOT mean you rightfully POSSESS that identity.
So when a Christian, tells us they have deconstructed their Christianity, we should thank them. Their rejection of Christ has outed them as not a believer in the first place. And this allows to not only pray for their true repentance and salvation, but to protect ourselves from their false teaching.
Can I give what I think are a couple of real examples of this? And this might ruffle some feathers. But that is the name of the podcast basically. As I was beginning to notice this trend of deconstruction among millennial women, I had to stop and ask, how did this happen? Where and when did it start? Was there a specific catalyst? And I'm not drawing a hard conclusion to the examples I'm about to give or casting specific blame. But rather, take note of those people that you admire and the impact they have on your faith because this is really tricky sometimes.
Ok, so why is it the millennial woman? I actually asked this on my instagram a while back and someone else point this out to me and I about fell out of my chair, because I agreed and couldn't believe I didn't think of it myself.
In 2014, I read a book by Jen Hatmaker. Have you ever read a book by her. She is just so fun, you know? She writes well, she's relatable, she's funny. She seems to have a really great personality. I loved the book I read and I thought, how cool is this? A funny, Christian female, that is wise, and cute. Yay! Clinks wine glass.
I don't know how long my infatuation with her lasted, but not long. I think I ended up reading 2 books. And then she and her husband at the time, took some major theological turns. And to me, that was a huge red flag. I don't care how big your church is, how many books you've sold, how funny or cute or relatable you are...when you suddenly interpret the Bible differently, after years and year of ministry. And your new interpretation doesn't match sound theological teaching...that's long pause for me. I need to sit with that and digest and truth check myself. And you know what, I was fine letting the teachings of Jen Hatmaker go, because I disagreed.
And listen, I'm not demanding perfection from theological mentors. But I am demanding soundness and consistency. Life and sin will happen. There are other Christian authors and leaders who have had to deal with life struggles publicly or who have to do repent that haven't changed their theology.
So I was fine letting go Jen vs. letting go of Jesus. BUT many women were NOT fine letting go of her. They just followed right along and changed their theology too. Now Jen didn't fully deconstruct her religion per se, but she did rewrite the parts she didn't like. And I say per se, because she does, as far as I know, still profess Christianity. But I have to admit...her partial deconstruction, in my opinion, really led A LOT of women astray. Maybe even a generation. Which is why I see full deconstruction from age group now.
And it was not just her...gosh it was a season several years ago...we also had Glennon Doyle and Rachel Holis. AND the rise of Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Jesus Calling was a little earlier...but what a gateway to New Age thinking.
I know, I know...I'm probably pushing all of your buttons right now. But we have to be more in love and more committed to JESUS and HIS word than to our favorite author and their words. OR even our favorite pastor. No matter how fun and relatable they are.
Let’s look at the second conclusion…you’re prodigal having moment, but you will repent and return.
You, me, no one, not one single Christian is going to make it perfectly through life with no sin, even after salvation. The question is, what do you do about sin in your life? Do you continue it? Do you justify it? Do you twist theology to encompass it?
If you look at the prodigal son parable, the youngest son has a terrible resume. But in the end, he humbly comes back and repents. And the older son is jealous, it’s all about HIM, and his better resume. His works list is longer. BUT he lacked contentment and gratitude and lacked the humbleness and repentant heart posture in the end.
Doesn’t the oldest sound a lot like the deconstructionist? “Hey dad, I checked the boxes and this isn’t fair and I’m unhappy, so you need to make a different decision.”
Meanwhile, the father fully restores and redeems the younger son.
So a wanderer is not always lost. Maybe someones questioning or falling away isn’t permanent, it’s temporary and they will be fully restored because they do belong to the Father. I actually pray for these women, that they aren’t fakes, they’ve just wandered, they’re the 1 he leaves the 99 for. The prodigal. But I don’t know.
If you’re deconstructing. I have a few questions. What are you rebuilding? And who gave you that authority? Where is your new life blueprint coming from?
My personal experience has been that God has never let me go, even if I felt like that’s what I wanted. It would be a lie to say I’ve never questioned God. Or thought, like dude, this would just be easier to walk away. I have definitely had life moments, where I’ve asked, maybe even begged God to just let me go. Sometimes, self destruction can look more enticing than the whole return and repent thing…it is really hard. BUT THANKFULLY, He has never let go. He has always called me back home. I hope and pray He does the same for you.
Deconstructing Your Religion